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Behaviours of Distress, decipher my message


When you see someone displaying what might traditionally be called 'challenging behaviour', it's crucial to approach with understanding rather than judgment. These actions are often misinterpreted when, in fact, they are valuable forms of communication. Such behaviours—now more compassionately we'll term 'behaviours of distress'—signal unmet needs or significant discomfort.




What Are Behaviours of Distress?

Behaviours of distress encompass a variety of actions such as aggression, self-harm, destructiveness, and severe non-compliance. They are commonly seen in those who may not be able to communicate their needs traditionally, including those with developmental disabilities like autism and conditions like dementia.



The Limitations of Negative Labelling

Labelling these actions as 'challenging' can have negative connotations, suggesting stubbornness or inconvenience, which might lead to punitive responses. Such a viewpoint obscures the real plea for help that these behaviours represent, and may prevent the individual from receiving the compassionate support they need.


The True Message Behind These Behaviours

Understanding that behaviours of distress are a form of communication changes the narrative: it turns a problem into a message that needs decoding. These behaviours often indicate that the person is experiencing discomfort, such as physical pain or emotional distress, or has needs that they cannot express in other ways.


How to Be Supportive

Being truly supportive involves more than just managing these behaviours—it's about understanding and addressing the underlying causes. Here are some supportive strategies to consider:


Maintain Calm: Approach each situation with calmness to help soothe and reassure the person that you are there to support, not to control.

Identify Triggers: Observing when and where these behaviours occur can help pinpoint triggers. This insight can be crucial in preventing future episodes.

Offer Communication Tools: Providing tools for alternative communication, such as picture cards, sign language, or communication apps, can empower the person to express their needs in less distressing ways.

Seek Expert Advice: Enlisting the help of professionals like behaviour analysts or speech and language therapists can provide specialised strategies that address individual needs.

Empathise and Engage: Try to empathise and see the situation from the person's perspective. This understanding can be key to resolving the underlying issues causing the distress.


By reframing 'challenging behaviour' to 'behaviours of distress', we open ourselves to a more empathetic and constructive approach. These behaviours are not problems to be solved but messages to be understood. As caregivers, professionals, or simply observant community empaths, it is our responsibility to listen, decode, and respond with compassion.


Let us change how we perceive and react to behaviours. They are not just calls for help—they are opportunities for us to demonstrate our empathy and support, ensuring that we meet the true needs of those we care for.

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